crapy clawn forums

this is a lot of words but if u are bored they are pretty funny words

anyway it is a text based post apoc mmo

anyway i just signed on and its been so long i dont exactly remember what i was doing but my character is lying on the floor in his apartment with the door barred and this is what is in the room

_|_|[]_|_|  Apt 205 (perfectscrotum's place) (bradbury) 10:15pm
_|[]_|[]_|  Moonlight trickles in through the windows.
_|_|()_|_|  
_|_|_|_|_|  A TV set is sitting here.
_|_|_|_|_| 
           
There's a condom, a book of PCP laced rolling papers, a handful of empty brass rounds, a large cabinet, a key, a coat hanger, a Hammerhead 12mm automatic pistol, eight 12mm clips, a firearm trigger assembly, a firearm sight assembly, a brick of quick-mold plastic, a firearm breech assembly, a firing pin assembly, two steel pipe caps, an ammunition magazine assembly, and a wooden steak on the floor.

this is what is in the cabinet

perfectscrotum opens the large cabinet.
A floor-to-ceiling armoire cabinet in dark-finished oak.
Weapons:
  two knuckle busters [1kg]     
Ammo:
  two 9mm clips [320g]          
Clothing:
  a pair of desert camo pants [350g]  a replica samurai helmet [2kg]
  a pair of sneakers [500g]       a pair of steel-plated boots [910g]
  a steel athletic cup [500g]   
Consumables:
  a pack of cigarettes [6g]       a pack of cigarettes [4g]     
  scores of rocks of crank [22g]  lots of bags of weed [72g]    
  a pack of cigarettes [20g]      a clear glass bong [1kg]      
  a cigarette [2g]                a rolling paper [1g]          
Artifacts:
  two firearm trigger assemblies [200g]  three firearm breech assemblies [300g]
  five fuses [500g]               two comic books [100g]        
  a 'Giggle Cream' spraycan [150g]  a short steel pipe [100g]     
  a 'Bad Motha Fucka' wallet [100g]  a microprocessor [10g]        
  two chrome hubcaps [200g]       three rusty metal spikes [750g]
  three charcoal briquettes [60g]  four long steel pipes [400g]  
  an electromagnetic motor [100g]  four ammunition magazine assemblies [400g]
  two small loudspeakers [20g]    an issue of My Fluffy New Jizz Target [115g]
  a Hello Kitty vibrator [100g]   a Max Headroom screenplay [50g]
  two broken lead pipes [1kg]     a detonator circuit [100g]    
  a jar of sulfur [30g]           a nanopacitor [50g]           
  two empty syringes [20g]        an Assassination Primer [50g] 
  a paperback copy of 'Rashomon' [50g]  a twisted strand of gold wire [10g]
  a bottle of methylamine [200g]  a titanium plate [500g]       
  a ferrule type fuse [100g]      a lead bar [100g]             
  three steel pipe caps [450g]  
Misc:
  a metal suitcase [4kg]          a landmine [1kg]              
  a recipe for a mortilex hypo [100g]  a recipe for gunpowder [100g] 
  a peridot [100g]                a book of rolling papers [52g]
  a bundle of ephedra leaves [100g]  a book of rolling papers [45g]
  a black pearl [100g]            a Vice Presidential Seal [10g]
  a book of rolling papers [32g]  two rough peridots [200g]     
  five red lighters [500g]        two rough topazs [200g]       
  a rough opal [100g]           

so basically i guess i was making a bomb or some shit lol i dont remember what for


here is some funny stuff that i have saved

[chatnet] Ilids asks, "Is it just me, or is this a stupid conversation?"
[chatnet] Nova says, "It's stupid."
[chatnet] perfectscrotum says, "ur moms a stupid conversation roff roff lol"
[chatnet] Nova says, "What the christ"
[chatnet] Ilids says, "My mom's dead you fucking idiot."
[chatnet] Nova says, "She's dead assfuck"
[chatnet] perfectscrotum says, "i killed her roff roff"
[chatnet] Nova says, "So start digging."
[chatnet] Ilids has left chatnet.
* * * ZOT * * *
[||||||||||********************]  AAAAUGH!
perfectscrotum is hit by a bolt of lightning!

AfMaGup yanks out his meatpole and starts fapping furiously.
You start to feel a bit...randy.
AfMaGup gets frustrated and gives up, dropping his limp wang with a sigh.
perfectscrotum wraps his hand around his turgid man-meat, stroking at a measured pace.
[ You earned 1 IP in fuck! ]
perfectscrotum yelps excitedly, then twitches as his dick dribbles a load of jizz on AfMaGup.
AfMaGup starts attacking you!
A red light flashes on the FCPD cam as it swivels toward AfMaGup.
Cripple Red smashes the glass cover of the emergency switch on the wall, and jams down the switch.
Steel gratings rattle down on rails and snap shut over the doors and windows.
You rush AfMaGup in a berserker attack!
AfMaGup's pipe sails in a deadly arc toward perfectscrotum.
perfectscrotum's truncheon sails in a deadly arc toward AfMaGup.
A loud siren starts blaring through the room, rising and falling.
[p# A] AfMaGup goes limp; perfectscrotum's truncheon smacks him in the head.
[ You earned 2 XP! ]
AfMaGup crumples to the ground, gasps out his last breath, and dies.
AfMaGup seems to have been beaten to death; his limbs are horribly twisted and his skull is cracked wide open.
AfMaGup seems to be dead.
perfectscrotum squats over AfMaGup, exposes his crotch, and plops his balls lightly on AfMaGup's face.  Teabag!

perfectscrotum lunges at guitargrizz!
perfectscrotum grabs guitargrizz and pins his arms behind his back.
[|*                            ]  Shit.
perfectscrotum kneels in front of guitargrizz, smiles, and tugs guitargrizz's kevlar athletic cup down and off.
guitargrizz struggles uselessly against perfectscrotum.
perfectscrotum lubes his dick with a quick spit, works it against guitargrizz's ass for a moment, and slides it in.
perfectscrotum fucks guitargrizz roughly for a minute or two, without even offering a reach-around, then groans and rams forward in a shuddering orgasm.
[*                             ]  Chill.
You feel completely relaxed; every bit of stress has drained out of you.
[ You earned 1 IP in men! ]
guitargrizz breaks free from perfectscrotum's grasp!
guitargrizz heads north.

i rule[/code]

k i just did some more stoff l@@K

perfectscrotum gets out his laced joint.
perfectscrotum lights his laced joint.
You smoke the laced joint.
You feel yourself getting a little more floaty and withdrawn from reality.
Your head feels cloudy.  You taste blood in your mouth.
You smoke the laced joint.
How can there be a bottom if there is no top?
You itch all over.
You smoke the laced joint.
You feel yourself getting a little more floaty and withdrawn from reality.
Everything looks unnaturally crisp and bright.  The light hurts your eyes.
You smoke the laced joint.
How can there be a bottom if there is no top?
You itch all over.
You smoke the laced joint.
Whoa.
You itch all over.
You smoke the laced joint.
Your laced joint stops burning.
You toss away the butt of your laced joint.
Are you being watched?
You close your eyes and try to calm yourself down as the world seems to be random and rushing past you out of control.  As you try to clear your head you fall further into turmoil, straining against the impossible.
You seem to be shifting into a new reality...
You break into a cold sweat and your heart starts pounding in your chest like a jackhammer.  You do not feel at all well.
You feel your consciousness slipping away...

. . . . .   On the Plains (child's dream, dreamworld) 1:56am
. . . . .   You stand on an endless plain of tall grass. Rough wind washes
. <>(). .   across you, chilling your ears. Cold stars glitter in the night
. . . . .   sky.
. . . . .   
            A small cartoonish house sits in the middle of the plain, crude
 chimney askew. You're right outside.
 

Your father, 8Terry, 35Will, 86Jed, Stoopid Rick, Noel Jonsson, Amon, Ogmios, Arati, and Yolanda are standing here.
[ Exits:  in ]
8Terry [to perfectscrotum]: Aren't you cold?
Your father [to perfectscrotum]: I need you to find my glasses.  Hurry.
[chatnet] Dr.House says, "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

. . . . .   On the Plains (child's dream, dreamworld) 1:59am
. . . . .   You stand on an endless plain of tall grass. Rough wind washes
. <>(). .   across you, chilling your ears. Cold stars glitter in the night
. . . . .   sky.
. . . . .   
            A small cartoonish house sits in the middle of the plain, crude
 chimney askew. You're right outside.
 

Your father, 35Will, 86Jed, Stoopid Rick, Noel Jonsson, Amon, Ogmios, Arati, Yolanda, Bede, and 47Larry are standing here.
[ Exits:  in ]
Your father [to perfectscrotum]: I need you to find my glasses.  Hurry.
You don't see any 'glasses' here.
He is a man's man, a real stone cold player from the old school. You can't help but wonder about his namesake.
[|||||||||||||||]
perfectscrotum looks healthy.
[ You earned 1 IP in autosexual! ]
His chest is bare.  His groin is exposed for all to see.
He is 22 years old.
You start to feel a bit...randy.
86Jed [to perfectscrotum]: I uh...you know, I can see your ah, genitals.
Noel Jonsson [to perfectscrotum]: I met Death today. We are playing chess.
Noel Jonsson [to perfectscrotum]: I met Death today. We are playing chess.
You rush your father in a berserker attack!
You freeze up from just thinking about raising your hand to him.  He's so much bigger than you!
Your father [to perfectscrotum]: Where are my glasses?

. . . . .   On the Plains (child's dream, dreamworld) 2:04am
. . . . .   You stand on an endless plain of tall grass. Rough wind washes
. <>(). .   across you, chilling your ears. Cold stars glitter in the night
. . . . .   sky.
. . . . .   
            A small cartoonish house sits in the middle of the plain, crude
 chimney askew. You're right outside.
 

Your father, 35Will, 86Jed, Stoopid Rick, Noel Jonsson, Amon, Ogmios, Arati, Yolanda, Bede, 47Larry, and Selma Pettersson are standing here.
[ Exits:  in ]
You head in.

. . . . .   In the House (child's dream, dreamworld) 2:04am
. . . . .   Moonlight trickles in through the windows.
. <>(). .   
. . . . .   A TV set is sitting here.
. . . . .  
           


[ Exits:  out ]
A flatscreen television set.
It's not plugged in or turned on.
It's somewhat damaged.
The screen is dark.
I don't understand that.
perfectscrotum tries to turn on the television but it doesn't seem to have any power.
You head out.
You feel your consciousness returning...

_|_|[]_|_|  Apt 205 (perfectscrotum's place) (bradbury) 2:06am
_|[]_|[]_|  Moonlight trickles in through the windows.
_|_|()_|_|  
_|_|_|_|_|  A TV set is sitting here.
_|_|_|_|_| 
           
There's a condom, a handful of empty brass rounds, a large cabinet, a key, a coat hanger, a Hammerhead 12mm automatic pistol, eight 12mm clips, a firearm trigger assembly, a firearm sight assembly, a brick of quick-mold plastic, a firearm breech assembly, a firing pin assembly, two steel pipe caps, an ammunition magazine assembly, a wooden steak, a worn leather satchel, and a joint on the floor.

oh gabrielle
the sun is shining in your eyes

oh gabrielle
i didnt mean to make you cry

Wooden steak... haha.

i have no idea what i can use that for mabe killing a vampire is that what u do

i just examined myself

.
He is a man's man, a real stone cold player from the old school. You can't help but wonder about his namesake.
He is soaked in reeking puke.
He is completely covered in blood.
perfectscrotum staggers from a plethora of bloody wounds.  perfectscrotum sways and weaves a bit.  perfectscrotum drools a little, with a vacant look in his eyes.
You're holding a pair of rubber waders.
You're wearing a padded jerkin and a pair of lotus kogake tebukuro.  His groin is exposed for all to see.
He is 22 years old.
You start to feel a bit...randy.

hahah. i remember some of you rold logs you posted awhile back.

at least, i think it was you.

i've definitely seen logs of this game before though.

_________________
We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/we ... nadie.html

i made a character named assmaster.

i attacked a k-9 enforcer and died. alas.

fuck the police

I was remarking that that is steak like sirloin. Stake is what you kill vampires with.

Yeah, he did the teabag one.

fuk mb

yeah i just looked at it again and it is a novelty wooden steak the joke was totally over my head