crapy clawn forums

good game thanks for playin

is that dwarf fortress?

ya lol

now i have a fortress going but i picked a glacial outpost so the winter was really long and we ran out of food and one of my guys went berserk and destroyed the bridge over the cave river and the majority of people were on the outside when it happened

and so now everyone trapped on the inside ate the reserve food and died while everyone on the outside is mining into another place on the cliff in order to find enough stone to rebuild the bridge and get back to the fortress so they can get all the gems to the trade depot before the human caravans get here so we can have enough food to last through the next winter

now a craftsdwarf on the outside has been divinely inspired to make a masterpiece but he can't get to the workshop he needs and he's losing his mind lol

/!\ ATTN /!\

the bridge is back up

i dont know who u aer bonaer but i lovereu

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[img]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a36/1ucksh0t/lolwat.jpg[/img]

lol get off the computer man go fuck up a cop car or somethin

maybe if u want to stay on thecomputer u can like open up a .txt file and write up a description of you fucking up a cop car that sounds like a nice compromise

have a good one bitch.

update: as soon as half of them got back inside, the guy who was losing his mind finally snapped and destroyed the bridge again just as the merchants and a bunch of migrants arrived. those that are still outside are stealing food from the merchants instead of putting the bridge back up

if they would just go make the bridge and the trade depot (which was also destroyed in that guys tantrum) we would be able to trade for that food without pissing off the humans or elves or whoever the fuck this is

here is the bridge down again with a dying man on the inside

i dono but im not responsible for my actions when i am drunk, except fucking up a cop car would be bad idea, especially since i have cop friends, they wouldnt arrest me i would just get my ass beat

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[img]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a36/1ucksh0t/lolwat.jpg[/img]

DO IT!

is yoar mawm a milf

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hai! miss me? castro loves you

Yes, but i dont think shes good enough for you senor playa

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[img]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a36/1ucksh0t/lolwat.jpg[/img]

hahaha

you r grate!

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hai! miss me? castro loves you

i love dwarf fort stories but it's too tedious to make my own.

keep telling.

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We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/we ... nadie.html

k i havent played in a while but hopefully i will sometime soon

ill name one of the dwarves agent137 but don't expect too miuch cuz i dont really play this game the wya you're supposed to

i still give the dwarves jobs but i let them do the prioritizing really so a lot of important jobs like farming and cooking don't get done and you get situations like the one they're in right now and i think its funny plus i dont really watch a lot of the time, i just give a bunch of tasks and then leave and read what happened when i come back

also i dig really sloppy fortresses like this current one is just basically one huge room once you get over the cave river and all the workshops are just in there and i dont take the time to count squares so we've had a few cave-ins and a couple dwarves died that way and we actually lost our only anvil so we have no metalworking and we'll be lucky to ever get one again

basically im the worst dwarf fortress player ever we have l;ike 4x more dead than we do alive

FUNNY SHIT ALERT
Now that is some funny shit.

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Brandon

seriously wtf i had just finished building the forge when the collapse happened and when i cleared the rubble there was no anvil to be found im calling bullshit on this one

hahahaha.


awesome.

I might have to dig that game up again.

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We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/we ... nadie.html

/r/ more funny stories

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So a seal walks into a club...

perhaps this will cure my boredom for a short while.

ok figured most of it out but i cant make rock blocks or trade with the merchants when they come.

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[img]http://content.ytmnd.com/content/6/5/f/65f4a1ec5a001a02396ac2d1baa8e31a.jpg[/img]
[img]http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j65/ultros4/Random/Safteynotgauranteed.gif[/img]

Most of my guys died from being forced to work in my sweat shops by their own will till they starved to death. then soon the dogs and cats over populated my whole cave.

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[img]http://content.ytmnd.com/content/6/5/f/65f4a1ec5a001a02396ac2d1baa8e31a.jpg[/img]
[img]http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j65/ultros4/Random/Safteynotgauranteed.gif[/img]

i kept getting buttfucked by elephants

lol i had a fortress in a "terrifying" place and there was a zombie elephant that wandered into the fortress early on so i recruited all 50 or so of my dwarves into the military as "wrestledwarves" and they all jumped on the motherfucker

they won but it wasn't pretty basically half died and the majority of the rest were just crawling around dying with the 3 or 4 healthy dwarves just trying to get water to all the dying ones

what do you do to get population up quiker? and i cant get farms to place

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[img]http://content.ytmnd.com/content/6/5/f/65f4a1ec5a001a02396ac2d1baa8e31a.jpg[/img]
[img]http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j65/ultros4/Random/Safteynotgauranteed.gif[/img]

only way to increase population in early game is to wait for migrants'

farms are dumb and flooding rooms is even dumber

i was more successful than that, even reaching the magma river. But I caught myself trying too hard so i uninstalled.

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We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/we ... nadie.html