crapy clawn forums

This thread is solely dedicated to asking questions to Teaks.
They can be stupid or sincere.
He may answer stupid or sincerely.

Teaks, I've been thinking about trying out some new looks for my pubes.
I've tried the bald look, which is high-maintenance and I've tried the curly-Qs, which are a springy mess.
What's the latest in pube style? Straightening it? The Ponytail? How do you wear your pubes?

Despite your quest for low maintence lower bits, it's worth the extra time to go for the classic bald look. While true that some women prefer a sasquatch, most find patrick stewart, bruce willis, and men in uniform more attractive then, say, anyone in a picture from the 70's. As additional justification: How often do you lick your cats? You may appreciate how awesome they look with long hair or a fresh haircut, but you sure as hell dont want your tongue all over that shit. Same goes for women.

Caviat here: You're already married which is 'girl applies mouth to my private bits' equivalent of the U.S. actually finishing a war anytime since WW2. I.E. it's not gonna happen. In addition your wife is pregnant; so basically just treat them like a 3 year old with sissors. Do whatever the fuck you want cause u'r not getting any action there anyway.

Uhhhh Teaks, why are you so homosexual in almost every way except actually being a homosexual?

A QUESTION OF THE AGES.

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I'm not a girl...er, guy.

Because I'm actually very comfortable in my heterosexuality. Add in a good amount of military, which throws you into a large number of situations that could very well be overly construed as homosexual, and you learn a lot about yourself. I really don't give a fuck if someone is hetero, homo, or something way outside the box. I am however very comfortable with who I am, and therefore it's wonderfully amusing to me to both make fun of others, and make other people horribly uncomfortable.

Honest enough answer for you Smoke?

NEXT!?

Why don't people seem to like using this thread to ask you questions?

That was actually a great answer. Thanks. :)

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I'm not a girl...er, guy.

I think the reasoning is twofold:
1) The forums have been on a slow moral decline over the last several years leading to a loss in readership. Lacking solid ethical guidelines they've turned into nothing more then extremist political propaganda.
2) It's an international conspiracy to drive me to insanity even more quickly. What is the direct link between not asking questions and my sanity you ask? Hell if I know, but I'm sure there's one somewhere.

What's your power animal?

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We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/we ... nadie.html

Kirk or Picard?

Please show your work.

Easy: Picard.

Picard = Kirk
P-Physical X P-Command = K-Physical X K-Command
(Iconic old bald guy that gives those of us with thinning hair hope and a reason to avoid the combover + awesome documentary voice second only to morgan freeman) X (actually keeps a command structure on the ship during away missions + could survive in today's current sexual harassment climate) = (Right hook - halting speech) X (bangs everything not human X 1.5 (extra credit for always knowing the correct hole) + unafraid to choose each away mission's 'sacrifical red shirt' while sending every senior officer to the planet)

Conclusion: Although Kirk obviously show's himself as more of a man of action, in many ways, I find Picards use of the unique attribute called "Critical thought" to be an overwhelming attribute of greatness in a commander. In addition, Kirk would have been a God among men during the 1970's, but he just hasn't aged well which ruins any credibility he had for me as a tv legend.

Picard > Kirk

http://www.jerismithready.com/quiz/#

According to that my power animal is a fucking Owl. If it thinks I'm so fucking wise how about I choose which power animal I fucking want as my spirit guide:

Mensa score? (free home test available until January 31, if you don't already know yours).

I'm not sure your answer is acceptable... you seem to be confusing Captain Jean Luc Picard with nominally famous British actor Patrick Stewart. Likewise you seem to be using James Tiberius Kirk and actor William Shatner interchangeably. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.

Im too lazy to Google. Link please?

I'm too lazy to LMGTFY: http://joinmensa.org/mhto_form.cfm

Wait...before I do this: At what level of intoxication are we supposed to take this test? It says nothing in the instructions....

As much as I would like to argue that the actors are defined by their star trek roles, that only serves to validate you point. I do still feel that my review of each of them are accurate regarding their time and performance as the captain of an intersteller spacecraft.

As a final test: If you were a random guy serving in starfleet which captain would you want to serve under?

As much as crazy alien sex and the contant thrill of impending death under Kirk would be entertaining, my respect still goes to Picard.

Much better answer.

Ladies choice

I scored a 131

I AM GREAT

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There is no score of 131. Try again.

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I'm not a girl...er, guy.

That was my score on the Stanford-Binet that Mensa uses officially. Is this one different?

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