(language NSFW)
From FARK:
You fuckin' nincom-fucking-poop
I nominate this man to lead The First Church of [=D].
Are you laughin, biotch? You find it funny?
I come in the name of Jesus - repeat it after me, bitch. I come in the name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit. God Almighty, you know, ruler of heaven, and earth, and every goddamn thing between.
Caller you on the line? CHARLES?
Say what? Motherfucker, I ain't lookin' for you. You-you-you probly lookin' for a cult maybe motherfucker. You - catch Heaven's Gate and travel the hell up out of here.
You fucked up. You fucked up, huh? You know yo' ass is doomed. What you got to speak? If you don't know shit to be speakin on some topic I bringin' up, shut yo goddamn ass up.
[Shit I gotta run, I'll finish transcribing later]
[caller: "I'm the devil, and I'm gonna come fuck yo-"] The devil is a motherfucking liar. So you know I ain't worried. BIAAAAAAAAAATCH. Stupid BITCH.
You goddamn devil worshiper, you ain't got no excuse. Motherfucker, you... come in the name of Satan. I guess if you like a house n***a and wonna go competitve if I say I'm God than I guess you have to take the side of Satan, huh motherfucka? Stupid bitch. It's not of compitition it's of cooperation...stupid ass house n***er. [muffled voice of caller: "...MOTHERFUCKER"] I can't see you though bitch. You see me. I'm all out. I make my ass very available. TIME. Next caller. You don't like it? Kiss my ASS, "you don't like it." It's my house.
[woman caller: "You know what, you are a real ..."] I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK BITCH. YO THOUGHTS - YO THOUGHTS - YO THOUGHTS AIN'T MY THOUGHTS. BITCH I'M FLOWIN' STRAIGHT FROM THE SURVIVOR SCROLLS -
CUT THAT BITCH OFF.
I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spi'it. Anybody resistin', kin goddamn my ass kiss it.
If you ain't down with that, SHUT YO GODDAMN ASS UP. GIMME NEXT CALLER. ["Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth"] MOTHUFUCKA AIN'T NO CORRUPT COMMUNICATION CAME OUT MY MOUTH. You know what the corrupt communication is? That's when you talk about the
devil.
He the devil. Yo motherfuckin communication's is corrupted. Whatevuh. Whatevuh. Then I'm wrong. You got me now. YOU GOT ME NOW. YOU GOT ME NOW. OH YOU FIGURED ME OUT. You fucking
nincom-fucking-poop.
God liah, huh? No I -I don - I don't see any of you asses bearing witness for me, or Jesus. I can't see none of you publishin' peace. This is the - Jesus is the way to peace. An' FUCK what you talkin' 'bout.