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So I got a free ticket to see an "extended preview" of James Cameron's new movie "Avatar."

It has cool special effects and looks like there will be some great action scenes but overall the movie looks terrible. The aliens are a race of giant blue cat people that are undoubtedly the wet dream creation of a furrie and the story/dialog (from what I saw) is eye-rollingly cliche.

The story goes, there is a wild planet named "Pandora" (rolleyes) that has lots of delicious natural resources that the evil humans can't wait to harvest. Unfortunately the planet is filled with giant, violent aliens, oh and also there is this primitive tribe of blue cat people.

The hero is a marine in a wheel chair who would obviously die since the alien planet is not wheelchair accessible. So he becomes part of a special Avatar program where they take his mind out of his human body and put it into the body of one of the cat people.

Now he can mingle with the tribe of cat people, learn they ways and understand why destroying the environment and hurting living creatures is wrong and reprehensible. If only humans in the real world could act like the kind, caring blue cat people.

Oh also, there is a "sexy" (not really sexy) blue cat woman that the guy falls in love with, unfortunately there is also an alpha-male blue cat man that wants the blue cat lady for himself. So, despite the fact that they are trying to defeat the humans together, there is conflict between the wheelchair guy and the alpha-male over the heart of the blue cat woman. (very original, nice one James Cameron).

There is also a scene where the wheelchair guy has to bronco-bust a pterodactyl.
There are also several King-Kong style scenes where the heroes are fleeing from giant alien monsters and narrowly escaping death multiple-multiple times.

Also, the alien cat women don't wear shirts so you see a lot of alien cat woman boob.

Rating: F+

Trailer: http://www2.avatarmovie.com/

While I was at the avatar screening, I got a ticket to any show at that theater for half-price, so I decided to stay and watch Inglorious Basterds.

It was also shit.

I'm impressed that Tarantino could manage to take an idea like, "A bunch of badass Americans go into Nazi occupied France and fuck shit up for the Germans" and make it such a terrible movie.

First of all, it is about 45 minutes worth of story stretched into a 2 and a half hour movie. The gaps are filled with long segments of things like, looking at the face of the character staring into the distance (for 20+ seconds) and boring pointless dialog that adds nothing to the story or character development.

Despite what you might think, the basterds are not the central focus of the movie so you dont really learn much about any of them. The most interesting character in the movie is one of the Nazi officers.

You also might think that it is some sort of action movie, it's not. There are a total of zero battle scenes and only a small amount of nazi killing.

Brad Pitt does a bad job acting and his character is pretty crappy, B.J. Novak who plays Ryan from "The Office" does an amazing job playing "Ryan from 'The Office' goes to Nazi occupied France".

Finally, I don't think Tarantino bothered to eject the Kill Bill soundtrack from the tape machine while he was working on the soundtrack for this movie.

This is a terrible movie, and it's total crap compared to (most of) Tarantino's other films. Not worth the price of admission and hardly worth the time it would take to watch illegally. Valkyrie is a much better Nazi movie.

F+

ROFL. Please write reviews for every movie you ever see from now on, always.

ROFL

And though Valkyrie was a decent movie, it was far from the best I've seen. My wife got lost like 30 minutes into it and then fell asleep. She wasnt too thrilled with it at all.

Oh, and I watched all through that Avatar trailer and saw absolutely zero cat-boob. I was all for going to see it based on Happy's review. Now, not so much.

I got to see the extended preview which consisted of James Cameron clumsily reading from for about 2 minutes and then about 20 to 30 minutes of "select scenes from the 1st half of the movie SO NO SPOLIERS LOL" -James Cameron

Plenty of cat boob in the select scenes

And I'm not saying Valkyrie is a fantastic movie, I'm just saying Tom Cruise and a bunch of English speaking Germans made a better Nazi movie than Tarantino.

can we talk about district 9 yet?

WARNING SPOILERS MAY FOLLOW.


where were the fucking americans? why aren't we in there killing nigerians, liberating aliens, and putting them in our own concentration camps, and flying the fucking ship into outer space? Are we really so fucking dumb that weapon tech only 15 years ahead of our own is more important than a GIANT FUCKING SHIP THAT HOVERS FOREVER DEFYING ALL KNOWN LAWS OF PHYSICS??

i like my sci-fi more coherent and thought out. I can only suspend disbelief about one or two things in a movie. Everything else has to build logically and believably on top of those items. district 9 didn't. half-brained and half-cocked.

catfood? What the fuck? Why not dry catfood too? It's practically the same shit. Send 'em some fucking iams.

they all display super-human strength. They have advanced weaponry. why aren't they drafted as soldiers? The language barrier is broken, 20 years pass. I'm sure you could get at least a few out of the TWO MILLION to fight with you for some kibbles and bits.

the gross ignorance of the fikas guy and his immediate lackeys was the first thing that irritated me. Who the fuck gets SPRAYED IN THE FACE with ALIEN GOO and decides ignoring it is the best plan??? And the 3 guys around him all agree without a second thought or question? really? IT'S ALIEN GOO FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

i could go on, but i won't because i did like the last quarter of the show where ficus kinda grows and struggles and then finally decides to kick some ass in his bad ass mech. (even though he didn't so much as grow as snap at the last minute to prevent me from walking out of the theater.)

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Gnarr disagrees.

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I'm not a girl...er, guy.

What the hell is an Gnnar?

I havent seen the movie, please expand on the catfood

I just assumed that Multi-National United was pretty much dominated by the US, and since everything was integrated to the Alien DNA triggers (kind of weak i know) I'm not sure how long it would take to crack. And the movie does "try" to explain the lack of intelligence among the aliens by describing them as the "worker" aliens, having been robbed of their brain trust they were probably too dumb to do much of anything other than procure cat food by any means necessary. it seems most cats have a more... enthusiastic reaction to wet cat food than to the dry stuff.

Cats flip out for wet, they are insulted by dry.

the writer wrote that cause he fished for prawn in the canadas and they used cat food for bait.

it was a great movie, its SCyFy... disbelief suspended kthx

i was going to post a scathing criticism of rob's review, but this will suffice.

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starving cats don't give a fuck. case in point: gnar

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I thought MNU came across as a corporate weapons developer, not a shadow corp for the US government. I think they said they make weapons, too. that's not the US i was talking about. I meant the fucking Army. Like the one we used to invade a country because there were 'weapons of mass destruction.'

If we'll do that for some fucking 'wmds' then why the fuck aren't we there for a giant fucking alien spaceship?

i never brought up the ignorance of the aliens. I gave it a pass because they did explain it, or at least, try. But since you did, I do in fact have a criticism of that, too:

how can you have 1 leader and 1.5 million idiots without a hive mind? Where are the middle-men? the NCO's? Hm??

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To tell a good story it has to be -believable-. It doesn't have to be true, but it should be true within its own self-defined world in order to achieve the most believability.

the ending was great, but there were too many holes for me to buy into the story and really feel engaged.

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We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
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starwars 3-6: unbelievable
lord of the rings: unbelievable
Toy Story: unbelievable


You may have not cared for this movie, but your reasoning's are minoritus.

(bold added by me)

unbelievable??! They are the perfect example of an untrue story that is completely believable within its own rules and universe.

They are indeed some of the best stories told. they are completely engaging. I don't have to force myself to believe in the story and buy into the characters and sit on the edge of my seat worrying about their worries.

what is your retort again, exactly? Is this what you meant to say?

NO NO NO NONONON ---> NO <----

_________________
We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
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My point was that it WAS unbelievable, just as unbelievable as the other movies I listed. And I enjoyed it because I willingly suspended my disbelief. Just as you must do when watching the movies I listed.

_________________
We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/we ... nadie.html

ok, i see what you mean. i agree suspending disbelief is key. and my point is I had to suspend WAY more disbelief for district 9 than I did for those other excellent movies because those other excellent movies had BETTER WRITERS.

_________________
We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/we ... nadie.html

lol George Lucas.

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And Darkness and Decay and The Underscores held illimitable dominion over all.

He IS the Gabe of moovees...

Agent: i understand your point. That's not that big of a point to me personally... even less so after I read some stuff and I guess there was a LOT of stuff that was left on the cutting room floor...\

side note: I love the idea of familiar flaws in aliens.

Going back to another of your points, I had the same thought of "WTF why don't they just fight? 2 million of them? FIGHT!!!!" but then I thought this was a race-relations movie... Please don't take this as me Godwin'ing this discussion, but how many jews were taken to camps without fighting? how many tried to live in the ghetto, content to wait it out without fighting?

Side note: "Defiance" is a badass movie.

District 9 was OK.

I agree with 13777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

If I have to say to myself bullshit more than twice, I do not like the movie.
Take the Aliens movies. First three great movies. They did not have a ton of bullshit that made no sense within its own rules.

Then Aliens vs predator comes--- Add love story and social situations we don't give a shit about. Then make it all wrap up into an ending that contains itself into a movie you can erase from time and no future movies will have to reference back to it.

Basically First 3 aliens movies = good
4th = ok
aliens vs predators = pearl harbor

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