Archive for the ‘The Man’ Category

The BCS

Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

Since  it’s bowl time I thought I’d dig this gem out of WikiPenia for everyone to enjoy.College Football, LOL  

Mark Mangino(pronounced /ˈscrætɚm/) is the sixth head football coach from the Big XII North and the second largest man in the Solar System, after your mom. Along with the human blimps Rick Majerus, Charlie Weis, and your mom, he is classified as a gas giant (also known as a Jovian head football coach, after the planet Jupiter). He was named after the Roman god Manginas, equated to the Greek Kronos (the Titan father of Zeus) and the Babylonian Ninurta. Mark Mangino’s symbol represents the god’s drumstick(Unicode: ♄). The day in the week Tuburday gets its name from the head football coach.

The head football coach Mark Mangino is primarily composed of gravy, with small proportions of methane and trace elements.[9] The interior consists of a small core of bones and organs, surrounded by a thick layer of fat and bonbons and a gaseous outer layer. The outer atmosphere is generally Italian in appearance, although long-lived mustaches can appear. Wind speeds on Mark Mangino can reach 1,800 km/h, significantly faster than those on Uranus. Mark Mangino has a planetary fried chicken field intermediate in strength between that of Earth and the more powerful field around Jupiter.

Mark Mangino has a prominent system of food, consisting mostly of gravy particles with a smaller amount of french fries and candied corn. Sixty known moons orbit the head football coach. Titan, Mark Mangino’s largest and the Solar System’s second largest moon (after GenMay), is larger than the planet Mercury and is the only moon in the Big XII North to possess a significant atmosphere.[10]

 

Image:Mangina.jpg

Check out WIkipEnia for more great knowledghe

The whimsical tale of Bud Martin

Friday, November 9th, 2007

The following transcript is real and it was recorded on a public server…
Bask in its glory.

Many thanks to Hogg for researching this ancient text.

(Armus in mid-sentence, Hapy singing, assrott contributing blasts of static)
Armus (agitated): … and I’ll guarantee you’ll be banned from mine. Both of mine!
Smith (text): bOTH OF YOURS?
Smith (text): you have two?
Pliskin (text): that song was kind of catchy
Smith (text): lefty AND righty?
(Hogg shoots Armus repeatedly. FF is off.)
Hapy: I’m on your head, Armus. Am I gonna get banned for that?
Armus: Your whole clan is gonna get banned.
Hapy: Oh REALLY?
Armus: That’s right. You can forget TG, Mx, RR’s, or YG for that matter!
Hapy: What’s YG stand for? You’re gay?
Smith(?): Your authoritative tone is cutting me as hard as a diamond in an ice storm.
Armus: You little boys don’t know what the heck you’re messing with.
Hapy: Armus, does your dad work at Steam?
Armus: They’re a bunch of little jerks, smouth- smart mouthing off, and they’re gonna get in trouble.
Hapy: Armus, does your dad work for Steam?
(Armus in mid-sentence)
Armus: You’re worse than that, because you’re a little punk.
Hapy: Ow! Hang on, I need to recover from that comeback.

(more…)